How To Deal With Liars

Dealing with liars and therefore with someone who has a tendency to lie is never easy. It is impossible to know when to believe what they say and when to reject it. In the same way, it is impossible to entrust to them all our secrets, whether large or small.

However, the problem is that sometimes there is simply no alternative. It’s sometimes impossible to avoid having to associate with these types of people, no matter how much we’d like to.

It is a good idea to avoid liars as much as possible because their lies are like an emotional scam. They cause a lot of discomfort. That’s because the victim has been disappointed, not to mention manipulated. Of course, such feelings are not a great way to create or maintain a bond with someone.

• Some people lie because they just want to make things up.
• Others do it because they are ashamed or afraid to show themselves as they really are.
• There are also those who tell lies for the express purpose of deceiving others.

So, as we have seen, people lie for various reasons. However, it is important to remember that none of these reasons are actually valid.

Dealing with someone who lies is never easy. However, there are a few things to keep in mind when we find ourselves in such a situation. When dealing with liars, pay close attention to the following things that we will explain below.

Use evidence to deal with liars

Once you know that someone you know regularly lies, there are several ways to proceed. One is simply to stay as far away from that person as possible. However, that is not always an option. If the person in question is an employee, our boss or our partner, there is often no choice.

In any case, it may be a good idea to decide to confront the person who is lying to you. The best way to deal with someone who lies is to confront them. To do this, it is necessary to collect irrefutable evidence.

While it may seem a bit exaggerated, it’s a good idea to take note of all the lies someone tells you. Look for evidence that what they’re telling you isn’t true and have all the information handy. Once you’ve gathered enough evidence, it’s time to take the next step.

Present your findings

At this stage, dealing with someone who is lying requires a great deal of tact. It’s not a good idea to simply reveal the information you have right away. This can even be counterproductive.

• In such cases, it is best to be sensible and understanding. Remember that every person deserves a second chance.
• A good first step is to invite the person to talk to you privately. Then calmly let them know what information you’ve gathered and how it contradicts the things they’ve told you. The idea is to make the liar understand the gaps between what they have told you and the plain reality.

• Explain that you don’t want to judge, but just try to understand. This is a delicate situation that needs to be approached maturely. The goal is to have a mature two-way conversation, rather than making an attack on the person in question.

Understand the reasons

If you can, let the liar explain why he lied. You never know. While there are cynical liars, there are others who are really very tormented people.

This person may be lying because he underestimates himself and does not accept the truth about himself. Or it could be that he or she is just someone who likes to mislead those around him. Either way, it’s important to calmly invite the liar to justify his behavior.

• People of good character deep down will take the opportunity to apologize for lying.
• On the other hand, some people will simply deny all the evidence against them and try to get out of the situation by lying even more.

Try a pact

It is important to make it very clear that lying completely undermines trust. You must make sure that you say this directly to the person who is lying, and clearly explain the consequences of lying.

Then tell them how it feels to be misled by someone and also point out that trust is something that cannot be easily restored.

The next step, after showing how the behavior makes you feel, is to try a sincere pact. Keep in mind, though, that you can’t expect the person to be 100% on their side of the deal. A liar cannot be expected to change overnight.

What’s important, though, is to make sure that the person in question has a genuine intention to live up to the pact, even if they can’t do it right away.

Understand that no one can just change another person

Confronting someone who is lying is a huge step. It means that the person in question has no choice but to realize that his lies are being noticed by others.

They will understand that while they can sometimes mislead people with their lies, they will inevitably be discovered sooner or later. This realization will make the person take stock and hopefully try to change their behavior.

For those who take on the burden of confronting the person who is lying, this can also be a very positive experience. It is an act of sincerity that works for the common good.

It shows that you are not one to be cheated and that you live by your principles. In the long run, the person who lies will always be much more careful and sincere towards the one who bothered to confront them.

However, it is especially important to realize that in the end no one can change another. The truth is that in most cases, confrontation and good advice do not lead to a person changing himself and his behavior.

Each of us ultimately has the responsibility and choice to decide how we behave and make changes as we see fit.

There are pathological liars who, thanks to expert professional help, manage to stop. Finally, we must remember that we can only be responsible for our own actions, and not for those of other people.