7 Tips To Get Through A Traumatic Divorce
A traumatic separation is a loss and therefore involves a grieving process. It is, as it were, the death of a life, an era and feelings that were meant to be shared, as well as the dreams of the future together. We’ll look at some steps to help you get through a traumatic divorce.
It’s not easy to get over this, but if you try to follow these tips, the grief of a failed marriage may be a little more bearable.
Tips to get over a traumatic divorce
Many reasons can lead to a couple getting divorced, be it mutually agreed or from one side. In fact, each couple has their own complex world. Therefore, there are as many reasons for divorce as for marriage such as:
- infidelity
- abuse
- incompatible personalities
Whatever the reasons, it’s never easy to get over a breakup. However, once you have decided to get a divorce, this must be done. You cannot force anyone to stay by your side or continue a relationship that is no longer fulfilling.
Accept the divorce
Marriage is the beginning of a life together, with dreams about the future, hopes and plans. It is our vision of the future that makes us want to go down the aisle and commit to the other person, believing that this will be for life.
In essence, it is also an investment. In fact, we invest in our partner and in that life together in every way :
- financial
- psychological
- emotional
- and so forth
That’s why it’s natural that it’s so hard to accept that so many things you’ve invested in and dreamed of don’t come true in the end.
That’s why many people go through a denial phase first. In other words, they refuse to admit it’s over and insist that somehow the marriage can be saved. Sometimes people even risk their own dignity and health to try to make it work.
However, we must be honest with ourselves and accept reality. Of course, a grieving process will be necessary to get through the breakup. Therefore, we must be merciful and kind to ourselves: give it all some time.
Don’t isolate yourself
During the grieving period when the relationship has come to an end, many people tend to isolate themselves. They may lock themselves up at home, rejecting their social life and contact with others, even their closest friends.
However, it is better to share how you feel with people who love you and who you have around you. Expressing feelings is always a positive thing. It helps you feel better and relieved. By doing this, you can help process your pain. Therefore, do not refuse the help of family and friends.
Stay optimistic
When one door closes, another opens. After a breakup, a new future is born that you may not have even imagined until now.
As you gradually overcome the grieving process of your divorce, you will be able to develop more dreams, goals and plans for your new life. In addition, you can imagine yourself doing those things you want to do.
This is the perfect time to be optimistic and envision a future full of personal growth and fun activities. Although it may seem difficult to visualize at first, it is time to envision a new life with new dreams and new goals. Now is the time to take care of yourself and live your life the way you want.
Learn from a traumatic divorce
You’ve been through a lot. You have suffered, you have cried and you have almost reached your breaking point. This means, among other things, that you have probably also come closer to yourself and got to know yourself better. This has given you the opportunity to get in touch more deeply with yourself.
You now know your limits better and you have learned to channel your pain and negative emotions. You are now stronger and you feel safer. Take advantage of this energy and start planning a new life and a new future.
It’s time to prioritize yourself
It’s time to think about yourself and rediscover new interests and hobbies. As long as the marriage lasted, it was probably all about your relationship:
- the everyday things
- how to spend the holidays
- your supermarket purchases
- what you will see on tv
- and so forth
However, now you are not limited by anyone else’s needs or preferences and you can now prioritize yourself. So try to do some activities that you find fun and enjoyable to do. In other words, rediscover your hobbies and interests.
You don’t have to look for another partner
It is also time to understand that happiness comes from within and that you don’t need another relationship to give meaning to your life. Therefore, do not think that finding another partner will solve your problems.
You have to learn to feel that you are only connected to yourself. Only then will you be truly willing to find the right person, as a more complete and happy individual.
Seek professional help after a traumatic divorce
If, in spite of everything, you think that you cannot overcome the traumatic separation and the grief is more intense than you can bear, do not hesitate to see a specialist.
If you think depression is lurking around the corner and you feel unable to do anything, a psychologist can help you overcome it. When grief overwhelms us and it is difficult to visualize a new life, professional help is always the best option.
So be kind to yourself and accept that you need help. Also ask for it. A specialist will help you manage stress and your feelings. He or she will teach you to channel this properly and help you visualize that new future.
Everybody is different
In this article, we’ve shared some tips to help you get through a traumatic divorce. However, you should always remember that every divorce is different. Every divorce, just like every couple, is very complex and unique to deal with.
You must therefore also be strong and mature if the marriage involves children or abuse. Poor control over the situation or the emotions and wounds can make the divorce even more traumatic in the future. Therefore, seek professional help if necessary.
